Daturbation (data plus masturbation): taking excessive pleasure in one's own data. Could also mean: massaging data to fulfill oneself or extending the meaning of collected data beyond reason and/or common sense.
"In data we trust" - whether it makes sense or not. Example: Fifty% (big number!) of the people in my marriage believe the toilet paper roll should be placed so that tissue comes from the bottom of the roll. Note: I do not have seven sister wives. I do actually have seven sisters but that is a different data set.
Warning: Daturbation will make hair grow IN YOUR BRAIN.