Thirteen Seconds

Thirteen seconds
seems to be
my record
for staying
in the moment.
Thirteen seconds
or less
and I'm scurrying
into the past
or fretting
about tomorrow
or next month.
How hard
can it be
to stay
right here, right now?

A.H.   12-31-13

Fata Morgana

Fata morgana is: (choose one)
a) the stage name of a B movie actress
b) a southern European pasta dish
c) an optical distortion of the horizon due to temperature inversions

Correct answer is c. It's an atmospheric phenomenon. Love it when those happen.

A.H. 12-29-13

Silence of the Snow

The snow
in my neighbors's yard
is a clean sheet
that I want
to write on
but what words
would improve
the silence
of the snow?

A.H. 12-20-13

Almost Solstice

Soon
a splinter of light
will lodge
into the darkness
and begin swelling.
This will happen
without any effort
on my part.

A.H. 12-18-13

Eighth Anniversary

Eight Things I Like About My Husband

1) The cats, especially Baxter, adore him and they are excellent judges of character.
2) He makes great (strong) coffee.
3) He's nice to his mother.
4) He's nice to my mother.
5) He likes to learn.
6) He puts up with me.
7) He's an absent-minded scientist.
8) He's got my back.

Happy anniversary John with love.
A.H.

One More Thing

Know I could
try to cram
one more thing
into this day
but why not
leave room
for the unexpected
and an
opening for grace?

A.H. 12-9-13

For Mary's Son

Hope it was
an awesome waltz
until
the music stopped.

A.H.
Mary's son David died on Dec. 4th from LeioMyoSarcoma.

Another F word

Let us return to anchor ice.
"Anchor ice in rivers tends to be composed of...
small flocculent masses."
Flocculent?
What the f?
Definition: having or resembling tufts of wool.
Work THAT into a sentence.

A.H. 12-7-13

Word Challenge

I can spot
the seldom used words
in my vocabulary closet
by their level of dust.
Frustrated, frequently used,
has no dust
but flounced
and flummoxed
are plenty dusty.

What words
in your closet
need an airing?

Don't fret
about this challenge,
frolic instead!

A.H.    12-6-13
Obviously I was fixated on the F shelf.

Anchor Ice

World Meteorological Organization definition of anchor ice: submerged ice attached or anchored to the bottom, irrespective of the nature of its formation.

Unofficial emotional definition of anchor ice: buried feelings attached or anchored to sunken relationships,  irrespective of the nature of their formation.

A.H. 12-5-13

Frosty Frisbees

This afternoon,
thrown from the sky,
the biggest snowflakes
I've ever seen,
frosty frisbees.

A.H. 12-4-13

Freezing Fog Advisory

After work,
radio warns of
freezing fog.
Oh no,
my brain has
felt like freezing fog
all day
and now
the internal
will manifest
externally.

A.H.

Parhelion*

During this day
of shrunken light
and bitter air,
a shard of color
cut the sky.

*scientific name for sun dog or sundog

A.H.

Seasonal Alaska Diary  12/1/13

Today, in the dark
I thought of the gingko leaves
and my heart brightened.

A.H.

No Resentment Here

Note: My co-writer Mary is currently in Austria visiting her daughter.

I don't mind
representing poetry
at Saturday group
while Mary
eats pastries
in Vienna.
Guess it's okay
that I toil away
on our blog
while she's
on European holiday.

A.H. 11-30-13

Full Moon Haiku

Fretting and asking
"Does this phase make me look fat?"
Imagine the moon.

A.H. 11-24-13

Tweeting LeBron James

Decide to join Twitterland,
learn I can follow
LeBron James.
Why would I care
what LeBron thinks
and does?
Know he's good
at basketball
and has lots of money.
Maybe I'll just follow
my own life
right now.

A.H. 11-17-13

Not Invited

Didn't get an invitation
to Billy Graham's
ninety-fifth birthday party.
Trump and Palin did.
Missed the unholy trinity
Big Religion flanked by
Big Hair and
Big Head.

A.H.  11-13-13

Seasonal Alaska Diary Haiku - October 26, 2013

Looking outside at
eight-thirty in the morning
waiting for the light.

A.H.

Seasonal Alaska Diary - October 18, 2013

There are still small
stubborn spots of color
that I want to swallow
to sustain me.
Can feel the dark hand
of coming winter
closing into a fist
squeezing light
out of the day.

A.H.

Outdoor Report
(Note: My sister - thanks Ink! - occasionally texts me parts of outdoor/fishing report, apparently from the newspaper)

Let's have
"a quiet conversation
about running for tuna
on Friday"
while
"exciting opportunities
for dry patterns"
exist
"within the next
couple of freshets."

A.H. 10-13-13

Seasonal Alaska Diary -October 7, 2013

That giant sucking sound?
Five minutes and forty seconds
of daylight draining
out of the day.
Today. sunshine enhanced
leaves of crimson, gold and orange.
I wanted to consume
the colors
as an antidote to
the coming darkness.
Tonight, wind and rain
will batter and dull
the trees into skeletons.

Aileen Holthaus

SNAP

They say that the poor
should pull themselves up
by their bootstraps--
but how can they succeed
if their bootstraps are being cut?

Internal Server Error

Internal Server Error

Maybe that explains
this week,
my internal server
was erroring.
Tried shutting down
and rebooting
but couldn't connect
with the mainframe.
Gave up,
used low-tech option
of pulling covers over my head.

A.H.   9-8-13

Practice Creation?

As noted in Kate Atkinson's "Human Croquet" - "In 1650, Archbishop James Ussher, in his Annals of the World, calculates that God made Heaven and Earth on the evening of Saturday, October 22, 4004 BC."

How might the world
be different
if created on
a Monday morning?
Did God intend
to create the world
earlier in the day
but got busy
with other
God chores?
What if he
had forgotten
to create us?
Was creation of
Heaven and Earth
a pesky task
to be crossed off
the list?
Did God really rest
the next day?
What if God was interrupted
mid-way thru creation?
What if we were only
intended to be the
practice creation?

A.H. 8-28-13

Area 51

Of course there are
space aliens on earth.
Many of them serve
in Congress.

A.H.
8-18-13

Anybody else frustrated?

My call goes to voice mail
and disappears,
never to be answered.
Is there a place in outer space
where voice mails gather
to enjoy their reward
for ignoring calls?
And is this elite group
joined by e-mails
left unread
and then deleted?

m.e.  08/12

Medical Mystery Tour

Told my sister
"let me explain Medicare"
and then proceeded
with a series of
if
ands
buts
maybes
possibles
sometimes.
Pausing for breath,
realizing the futility
admitted my defeat
"There is no explaining Medicare."

Sister said
"My head is spinning"
and we both imagined
green gunk spewing
ala "The Exorcist."
Wished her luck
finding participating provider
and getting preauthorization
and what is the
ICD-9 code for
demonic possession, unspecified?

A.H. 8-10-13

What I Haven't Learned In Fifty-Seven Years

1) How to make risotto.
    I had a risotto and kale dish "concept" several years ago. It didn't end well and I am still suffering from PTCD (post-traumatic culinary disaster.)

2) How to blow bubbles with bubble gum.
    I give up.

3) To read the instructions first.
   It isn't always the last thing I do but it's certainly not the first. Instructions may have been helpful in preventing the above-mentioned risotto and kale disaster.

4) Which months have 30 days and which have 31.
    I know there are tricks and devices to remember this. I can't remember those either.

A.H.
8-3-13

What I Have Learned in Fifty-Seven Years

1) When opening yogurt, hold carton away from you - it burps.
2) Moose are big animals.
3) Chocolate is my friend.
4) I am skilled at napping.
5) It's the heat AND the humidity.
6) What doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you.

I'm sure I've learned one or two other things but I can't think of them right now.

A.H.

Looking for Little

Looking for Little
(at Denali National Park)

In the shadow
of the Great One
(not you, John)
I delight
in tiny drops
of color
scattered
and admire
the tenacity
and triumph
of alpine flowers.

A.H.

I've noticed garage and yard sale signs blooming like dandelions all over town.

Yard Sale

Laid out in the yard
are outgrown tastes,
discarded ambitions
and dashed aspirations
hoping for resolution
in cold hard cash.

m.e.

Ugly
(for Touch Chea and Sorn Sreap)

How do you survive
Pol Pot
and then
be killed
a world away
in your home?

I don't understand.
I don't want to have to understand.

Note: Touch Chea and Sorn Sreap were Cambodian refugees who were killed in their home in Anchorage. Their killer, just released from jail earlier in the day, also sexually assaulted their 2 year old grand-daughter and an elderly, demented relative.

Ugly 2

Summer sunshine
doesn't erase
the ugly stain
of a couple
mowed down
with malice.

Note: A couple walking home were deliberately hit by a car. She remains in critical condition.

Safari

The congressman known as Don Young,
whose praises are often unsung,
decided to skip
abroad for a trip,
leaving some of us biting our tongue.

M.E.

News Quiz

Which of these headlines (from the Anchorage Daily News) is the real one?

A) Ex-judge charged with stealing cocaine.
B) African safari keeps Young (Rep. Don Young) from session on NPR-A bill.
C) Slime halted tow ship.

Answer: All of the above. Friday's front page was a trifecta of weirdness.
Keep an eye on Don Young. Next thing we know he'll be hiking the Appalachian Trail.

A.H.

Haiku from Homer

Announcing themselves,
the racket of sandhill cranes
punctuates the air.

Even thru my tears
can see immature eagle
and think of smiling.

A.H.

The Sounds of Thirsty Trees

Be very quiet.
Perhaps you will hear
a thirsty tree
and your own dry places
will want to answer.

A.H.

E-Gods

Gods used to communicate
through interpretations of gizzards,
or sending of blizzards and floods,
or in the visions of saints.
Does God now tweet or use e-mail
to get our attention, does he hope
we'll like him on Facebook,
meet him on e-Harmony,
bid for absolution on e-bay,
or has He just logged off?

What Really Matters

This has been a week, amidst bad news and tragedy, to reflect on what really matters. It's also time to ask "What am I contributing to the world?" My answer? Dang good coconut macaroons! Here's the recipe, stolen from a magazine.

1/3 cup flour
2 and a half cups coconut
1/8 tsp. salt
Mix this together and then throw in:
2/3 cup sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp. vanilla
Mix everything up. Drop by 1/4 cupfuls (yes, they're big) onto greased cookie sheet. Bake about 15 minutes (350 degrees) or until just golden on bottom (they won't really look "done.") When cool, dip cookies in melted chocolate.
Tip: use lots of chocolate.

A.H.

LETTER TO MY CONGRESSMAN

Is your priority the common good
or do you simply want to meet
the demands or raising money
to keep a comfy seat?

Pick Me!

I feel sorry
for words
not chosen
for First String Vocabulary.

Confused is
picked immediately
while Perplexed
and Confounded
wait on the bench
with Forlorn and Dejected
because Sad gets
all the play time.

A.H.

Challenge for the week: Give second and third string words some play time. Don't fret about this, have fun!

What I Accomplished Yesterday
(From Lake Tahoe)

1) Did research for my book "Bakeries I Have Known and Loved."

2) Learned origin of word/term "moxie.

3) Had my picture taken with large pine cone on my head.

4) Pondered why there aren't any restaurants named after Donner party.

No wonder I was tired last night.

Moxie: name of longest continuously operating soft drink company. They used to advertise their invigorating elixir. You've got moxie!


A.H.

WHAT ARE WORDS WORTH?

Old folk get confused
when words are now used
in ways that must be translated.

Back in the day
what it meant to be gay
was to be highly elated.

In the past being straight
showed a strong truthful trait,
not the gender you dated.

Now being cool
means you're nobody's fool,
not that the heat has abated.

To engage in a trip
was by car, train or ship,
not hallucinogen-related.

But don't scratch your head
over words that are said,
just accept the concept created.

In honor (?) of our current weather...

White Crap

"I don't want to cheer up"
snarled at my husband
as I drive him to airport.
"You're leaving
and it's snowing."
He persists
"You'll be in Lake Tahoe soon."
"Well, I'm sure as hell
not there now!"
Know this foul mood
will eventually
break-up.

A.H.

Happy Sixtieth Birthday to Peeps!

Mystery

On a table
in breakroom at work:
three purple peeps
and a clove of garlic.

Which came first?
The peeps or the garlic?

Ingredients for a recipe?
Saute one minced garlic clove
in olive oil.
Add three peeps, chopped.
Serve over pasta.
Perhaps not.

Cult ritual material?
Have the three peeps
missing from box of six
already been sacrificed
by someone wearing necklace
of garlic cloves?

Quick! A psychological test:
Complete the set-
Three peeps, garlic clove and
__________________?

You failed.

Performance art piece?
A searing statement
on the impermanence of life?

I consider eating a peep,
moving from observer to participant
but decide to maintain
the mystery.

A.H.

Photo credit: Mary Edmunds
Technology discredit: A.H.

DIVERSITY

When making muffins,
as a rule, I had always
used the Fanny Farmer
Boston Cooking School
recipe calling
for plain cane sugar
and all white flour.
But I have found
that using half or more
stone-ground whole wheat
and dark brown sugar
works a treat.

Ten Topical Reasons for Missing Work

1) I woke up feeling sequestery.
2) My immunes are rebelling. (News article: Salt May Cause Immune Rebellion)
3) The new pope has summoned me to Rome.
4) I'm in quarantine because I have March Madness.
5) Dancing with the Stars could call any minute.
6) I'm afraid if I go outside I'll be hit by a North Korean missile.
7) Dennis Rodman has asked me to be his co-ambassador to North Korea.

The final three have an Alaska twist.
8) My dogs took a wrong turn in the Iditarod.
9) My ferry, the Susitna, is delayed.
10) I can't come in until the Port of Anchorage is fixed.

A.H.

Battling budgets are boggling my mind.

PIE IN THE SKY

Detailed data can delight,
statistics often do shed light,
but there are those who are so smart
they produce a faux pie chart
hiding how their plan diverts
funds no matter who it hurts.

I hope those guys get their just desserts!

Beasts of the Northern Wild

Live with two wannabees
beasts of the northern wild.
Think they're so fierce
stalking redpolls and voles
inches from their nose;
"I'm gonna get you
and eat you up."
Fearsome cats
protected by
patio door.

A.H.

Word Pain

Ouch!
Did he just say "voucherize?'
This penchant for making
nouns into verbs-
where does it stop?
If incentivize isn't banned soon
I'll have to poetize.

A.H.

Why I Should Be the Next Pope

1) I (barely) remember Latin Mass.
2) My aunt is a nun.
3) I have 12 siblings.
4) I don't have (many) mortal sins on my soul.
5) I have a confirmation name.
6) I had 2 great-aunts who were nuns.
7) I said a lot of novenas.
8) I know limbo isn't a dance.
9) I want to go to Italy.
10) I remember my confirmation name.

     I want to be upfront in addressing the two big concerns about my qualifications. First, I'm not a cardinal. Actually I'm not even a priest. But there are limits to "hiring from within" and difficult times require taking risks. Sometimes an "outsider" can bring a fresh view to an organization. Second, I'm no longer Catholic. While I grant I would be a nontraditional choice, it may be time for the church to "outsource" it's leadership role.
     If I might be so bold to make a further suggestion: the current secretive method of choosing a Pope is so...well, sixteenth century. The Catholic Church needs money and there is money to be had these days in...reality shows. Unseemly? Well, maybe but think of the outreach opportunities.
     Oh, and my confirmation name is Margaret. Pope Margaret? Think about it.

Is anyone else irritated at Congress?

They no longer
debate, reflect
and vote.
Now they posture,
hurl vitriol,
emote.
And then with work undone,
they just get up and run.  

M.E.

Two Words

If I were to write
a two-word poem
it would be hard
to do better than
the bird name-
saffron finch.

A.H.

One-half of Alaska Poetic License -A.H. -is currently in Hawaii.

Alaska's Winter Spectator Sport

The excitement...
the suspense...
the thrills.
Iditarod?
The Alaska Legislature.
Who will introduce
the oddest bill?
Last year's show
featured a proposed
ban on Sharia law,
always a big Alaska threat.
This year's top contender
for weird legislation:
a law against enforcement
of current and future
federal gun laws
(Go big or go home!)
including felony charges
against federal agents
enforcing such laws.
Stay tuned
as our reps
give the finger
to the feds.

A.H.

"Death No Obstacle To Getting PFD" remains my favorite Alaska headline. For those of you who live Outside, PFD stand for Permanent Fund Dividend, otherwise known as "you get paid to live there don't you?" When I find the poem I wrote with the "Death No Obstacle..." title I will post it. Seems my (non-existent) filing system has failed.

Note: Seven years ago on Feb. 11th John and I rolled into Anchorage to start our Alaska adventure. Two years ago, on Feb. 11th (our fifth anniversary of arriving), I almost had a moose sit on my lap. Thanks to my Subaru Forester (badly damaged but fixable) for protecting me!  A.H.

A response to a previous post:

GLUTEN FREE AT LAST
Some seem to think
that gluten ingesters
are gluttons
and that those of us
who rashly dare
to exploit our ability
to indulge in allergens
declare our lack
of sensitivity.

m.e.

Sequester

Sequester
sounds like
bad name
for a boy.
Meet my
Uncle Sequester.
But I guess
if your parents
are "Fiscal Cliff"
and "Abyss"
it's not surprising.

A.H.

Gluten-free Post

Noticed by tea-bag
said "gluten-free."
Am noticing
this label
everywhere.
Not making light
of gluten-free
but be assured
this post
may not be healthy
but it is 100%
gluten-free.

A.H.

ADN - Sunday, 1/27 - "State mulls road to tap Su Valley resources"

(with apologies to Joni Mitchell and others)

Take paradise
and put up...
a Road to Resources
because
if you build it
they will come.
Who...?
The residents of
Tundra Isles,
the proposed
DNR housing development.
Who creates these names?
Must be person
who rebranded
Predator Control
Abundance Management.

A.H.

Civil Defense

What bends a mind
to violence that rends
the fabric of society?
What does rage provide,
what fuels the need
to vent our hate?
Can we negotiate
cultural disarmament?
                        m.e.

Hero Unworship

Lance has fallen
off the bike
podium
and pedestal.
Who is left
to admire?
Please don't tell me
Mother Theresa
took saint steroids.

A.H.

FRIENDLY FIRE

A Quaker school
filled with guns,m
now that's a prospect
that truly stuns.

Second Amendment For Everyone (SAFE)

Tired of second amendment
being hijacked by those
who want a personal arsenal.
Rights not balanced
by responsibilities
spin out of control.

A.H.

Thanks Robyn for title.

Figure This

Usually the total
is greater than
the sum of its parts
but Congress manages
to be less.
 A.H.

Awaiting birth of new blog. Stay tuned.    AH