New Word - For Adults Only

Daturbation (data plus masturbation): taking excessive pleasure in one's own data. Could also mean: massaging data to fulfill oneself or extending the meaning of collected data beyond reason and/or common sense.

"In data we trust" - whether it makes sense or not. Example: Fifty% (big number!) of the people in my marriage believe the toilet paper roll should be placed so that tissue comes from the bottom of the roll. Note: I do not have seven sister wives. I do actually have seven sisters but that is a different data set.

Warning: Daturbation will make hair grow IN YOUR BRAIN.

A.H. 2-27-14

Emotional Olympics

Do I really
want to
win gold
in sprint judgment?
Why be
the best
in downhill thinking?
Is jumping to conclusions
a winter
or summer sport?

A.H. 2-23-14

Multiple Choice

An aglet is: (choose one)

a) a miniature farm
b) the tip of a shoelace
c) a type of igneous rock
d) a bird native to Brazil
e) none of the above

Correct answer: b. Who knew those metal or plastic thingies at the end of shoelaces even had a name?

A.H.   2-12-14

Sneaky

Some people sneak
into your heart;
when you go
into the chambers,
turn on the light,
see them there,
you are surprised
but pleased.

A.H. 2-3-14