Riffing on a Recipe

The recipe suggests
I use raspberries
but I want a different
flavor note
so decide on
a few chords
of cinnamon.
The lemon
will be off key,
must be deleted.
Do I hear
an overture
of cream cheese?
Improvisation
is my favorite spice.
This explains the
Lemon-Raspberry Coffeecake
sliding into
a Cinnamon-Cream Cheese Cake.
Call me the
jazz cook.

A.H.

Birds Only My Husband Has Seen

"Nutcatcher!"
my husband's proclamation
met with stunned silence.
What avid birder
will admit unfamiliarity
with a species?
Another time -
"It's a chad"
he told co-workers
who struggled,
in vain,
to find it listed
in the books.
Then, last week
the first ever sighting of
"a pine cruncher."
At least he isn't
boasting of spotting
passenger pigeons
or ivory-billed woodpeckers.

A.H.

Nutcatcher = gnatcatcher
Chad = chat
Pine cruncher = ???

Oh F------K!

Maybe a Facebook page
isn't a good idea.
Already have a full-blown case
of  SMCD-
Social Media Comparison Disorder.
See the pictures of svelte, stylish people
doing Really Fun Activities
while I, frumpy and gray
change the cat litter.
Left out, not invited,
never mind that I live
thousands of miles away.
The toughest blow?
Even my husband hasn't accepted
my Friend request.
Oh Facebook!

A.H.

Delete This!

Deleting work e-mails,
how rewarding to erase
notices of meetings and
conference calls
that were time-sucking.
Be gone,
agitating requests
and unnecessary reminders.
Oh, that one irritated
the snot out of me-
into the ether with you!
Deleting: fast, furious
and freeing.

A.H.

A Thousand Tiny Nows*

If a thousand tiny nows
rained down on me
I wouldn't know
what to do.
But one tiny now,
that I can do,
including this moment
when my cat Oscar
insists on communing
with the keyboard.
The next tiny now
holds the sound
of Canada geese.
Before long
a hundred tiny nows
create a day.

A.H.

*Stolen from a greeting card - "Someday is a thousand tiny nows."

Downside of Upsell

Rental car agent
suggests we consider SUV
because of chance of rain,
ignored our protest of
"We're from Alaska"
won't be intimidated by moisture.
Should have asked
what she recommends
in case of nuclear attack.
Would a Humvee
be helpful?

A.H.

Trimming the Beast

Time to give the beast
a spring haircut.
At least it stays still
when I approach
with cutting shears.
"Steady now"
I reassure
the already placid
victim.
My target,
Clematis Giantus.

A.H.