Election Fatigue Syndrome

You may have EFS if:
-you scream "No, not again!" (even in public) when a political ad comes on for the 400th time.
-you feel like you're on a first name basis with candidates i.e. Did you hear what Mark did or I can't     believe Dan said that.
-you've seen more of the candidates (or their images) than your own family. This might also be a symptom of Candidate Saturation Disorder, which is closely related to EFS.
-you're counting the minutes until this election is over.
-you immediately discard all your mail, even checks and bills, because of the glut of political mailings.

A.H.

What I Did in Washington, D.C.

1) Money Laundering
  -accidentally put "folding money"  through laundry.
2) Marched on Washington
  -late for civil rights march but Danita and I trooped behind John (who set a blistering pace)
  on the supposed 3 mile walk, which had to be at least five.
3) Ate scrapple
  - thought I had pleasant memories of eating this in childhood but must have been mistaken.

A.H.

Murmuration Multiple Choice

Murmuration is:
A. a heart arrhythmia.
B. a speech disorder.
C. a town in Ohio.
D. a flock of starlings.

Correct answer: D. flock of starlings. It also appears to refer to the "far out flocking phenomenon" they do. Check it out here:www.lovethesepics.com/2012/11/

Senator Bob Dole and the Floral Library

What do Bob Dole and the floral library have in common?
A) they are old .
B) they live in Kansas.
C) I encountered both yesterday .

Correct answer : C. I saw Senator Dole and the Floral Library on the National Mall in Washington , D.C.. Senator Dole -who is 91 - was greeting people in front of the WW II Memorial.
A floral library - is this delightful or what? I want to study there .

A.H.

800 Seconds of Gratitude

 Eight Hundred Seconds

Decide to honor

my sister’s 800^th post

on her gratitude blog

with 800 seconds of gratitude.

How hard can it be?

Hmm, 800 seconds?

That equals…?

(insert math problem here)

thirteen minutes, twenty seconds.

Do the two minutes

for the math problem

count toward the 800?

Okay, eleven minutes plus

of total gratitude

starting now.

I’m grateful for:

this coffee,

Tom – even though he was pesty at 3 a.m.,

my writing group (currying favor),

Potter’s Marsh,

my health,

oh rats! I forgot to make dental appointment.

Get back into gratitude Aileen.

Okay where was I?

I am thankful for:

Hotdish Haiku book Zita sent me,

sleeping in,

the novel I’m reading,

last night’s movie

and leftover popcorn.

That reminds me:

I need to get cat food.

What else before I leave Friday?

Better buy new tennies.

Back to gratitude A.

Think it’s easy

to have 800 straight

seconds of gratitude?

You try it!

I’m going to weave

the 800 seconds

throughout my day,

threads of appreciation

brightening the hours.

   A.H. 9-30-14         

Why Catholics Can't Sing

Multiple Choice
Catholics can't sing because:
a) they might enjoy it and that would be a sin.
b) they have PTSD - Post Traumatic Singing Disorder - from Catholic grade school music lessons.
c) the acoustics aren't good in churches.
d) there is no commandment "thou shalt sing."
e) I don't know because I haven't read the book yet.

The most correct answer is e) I haven't read the book yet. What book, you say? "Why Catholics Can't Sing: The Culture of Catholicism and Triumph of Bad Taste." I am not making that up. This title called to me at a garage sale. Chapter headings include: The People Without Music, The Irish Way and Mr. Nice Guy. In the unlikely event I read this book I will report back.

A.H.   9-24-14

Things I Rarely Say

1) This coffee is too strong.
2) This dessert is too rich.
3) Wish I hadn't taken that nap.
4) That vacation was too long.
5) This brownie is too chocolate-y.
6) There's too much sunshine. (Thanks to Kelly for this one)
7) I'm entirely too thin.
8) My car is too fast.
9) Wish I hadn't stopped at that bakery.
10) I laughed too much.

A.H. 9-19-14