FIID -Facebook-induced Inadequacy Disorder*

Diagnostic Criteria:
- persistent feelings of inadequacy corresponding with Facebook viewing.
-continual comparison with others perceived to be having more excitement and/or adoring families as evidenced by their Facebook postings.
- impaired perception of one's own life and well-being corresponding with decreased enjoyment and sense of well-being i.e everyone else is having more __________(fill in the blank) than I am.

Symptoms must persist for at least one month and can not be explained by another mental or physical disorder.

*not in the actual DSM-5 but I will nominate for inclusion in the DSM -6 (DSM - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.)

A.H.

For Orlando and for Me

Again.
Hate.
Hate plus assault weapons
plus bitter blame
and whatever else
went into the poison brew
which boiled over.
Forty nine life lights
extinguished.

It must stop.
It must start with me
ferreting out hate
in myself,
standing against intolerance
and judgment.

So little I can do,
so important to do it.
It is time for illuminating
the dark -
hold firm,
stand kind.

I am alone.
I hope you are with me.
This must stop.

A.H.
In honor of lives lost in Orlando and lives forever changed.

Darkish -Alaska Summer*

No statement of night
only a suggestion,
not enough dark
to grab onto,
instead a hint
of darkish.

*For Lower 48er's - sunrise at 4:30 a.m, sunset at 11:26 p.m. Total daylight - 18 hours, 55 minutes, 33 seconds (a whole lotta light! -the title of a previous poem.)  Gain of daylight for today - June 4th - is 3 minutes and 8 seconds. This amount of daylight makes Alaska weird in the summer when the whole state is sleep-deprived  (I can sleep in the winter! This is not a good mental health strategy.)
Of course Alaska is also weird in the winter , well actually year -round. And we are about to run out of money. Not to be crude (an unintended pun) but the oil teat that Alaska has sucked on for years is running dry. And our legislate-laters (not a typo) need massive adult supervision in Juneau.
Oh, gotta go work in the garden - no matter that's it 10:30 pm. The sun doesn't set for another hour.

A.H.

My Brain on Insurance (Overload)

Remember "This is your brain on drugs?"
Here is my brain on insurance overload:
                         .
Yes,it's the size of a period.
No it hasn't always been that small.
Yesterday, after one too many insurance calls with impenetrable phone trees-
"Press five if you'd rather stick pins in your eyes"
 and a snarly customer disservice agent
and an assault of acronyms-
"Did you get an EOB with your COB?"
my brain exploded-
(didn't hurt as much as expected as my mind was numb)
and then condensed.
Wonder what the ICD -10 code is for that?
Brain shrinkage due to environmental factors?
Please don't suggest I call my insurance company-
I'm SOB* just considering it.


*Shortness of breath

A.H.

Coffee Drinks Only My Husband Orders

"Mud Eye."
Blank look from barista.
"Mud shot."
Contined blank look.
He's done it again -
confounded, conflated, combined,
created new names.
What he really wants is:
A Shot in the Dark
aka Red Eye, Sludge Cup
or Depth Charge.*
Just hope he doesn't request
and get
a Shot in the Eye.

*names for a shot or more of espresso in a cup of coffee - a strong cup of coffee.

A.H.

Crafted Greens

Say what?
Seen on a menu-
"crafted greens."
Does this mean
arugula needlepoint
or perhaps
macrame with lettuce?
Crocheted cress anyone?
Knitting with frisée?
Suspect it is simply
salad.

A.H.

Roger's Shoes*

"Of what avail this restless, hurrying activity, this heavy weight of earthly duties."
Tukaram

Left
by the side
of the bed-
Roger's shoes.
Running shoes
no longer needed.
Nothing needed now,
the collection
of earthly items
shucked off, useless,
reminding those left behind
of what was shed.
What is left behind:
running shoes
and miles
of memories
and love.

*In memory of my brother-in-law Roger Watson who died Nov.1, 2015 from early-onset dementia (Lewy body.)

A.H.