Monday, July 13, 2015

Fifty-Nine Words (Maybe) of Appreciation About Fifty-Nine Years



1) Better older than deader.
2) The boys: John, Thomas and Oscar (RIP Gracie and Baxter.)
3) Finding the Cream Cheese Musher cookie recipe years ago (the “little black dress” of   
    recipes.)
4) My seven sisters and close friends that are like sisters.
5) Travel and nature experiences.
6) Screw it - I don't care if this is fifty-nine words.

A.H.

Monday, July 6, 2015

How to Spot a Presidential Candidate

Confusing, isn't it, now that presidential candidates almost number in the triple digits? Here is a guide to help you narrow the field when you're wondering - "are they running for president?"

1) They usually have an ego big enough for its own zip code. One candidate's hair also meets this qualification.

2) They use the term "the American people" (TAP for short) more than once a day or even once a week.  For example:  "The American people want less government."
                                   "The American people want more government."
                                   "TAP want no government."

3) They stick out doing ordinary activities. In a bid to appear one of us they may: order at McDonald's, go to the grocery store, pump gas. Note: Anyone saying "aw shucks" should automatically be suspected of candidatehood.

4) They know more about Iowa and New Hampshire than any decent person should. Indeed they know more about these states than Iowans and New Hampshirites. As a former Iowan,  I have seen them lurking in obscure Iowa counties.

A.H.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Summer Haiku

Strips of shadowing
shape-shifting across mountains
clouds playing with sun.

Day after solstice
nine seconds light disappears.
When will it return?

A.H. 6-27-15

Monday, June 22, 2015

A Moment

Took inordinate pleasure
in usually taciturn clerk
chuckling at greeting card,
sharing a moment
yesterday, at Freddy's.

A.H. 6-22-15

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Frozen -Not the Movie




Seemed like a good idea
to treat visitors
to a meal
at Humpy’s.
Crowded as usual,
it’ll be okay
to sit outside.
Hmm, wish I had my jacket.
Where’s the waitress?
Pleasant conversation
distracts me briefly
from the cold.
Where’s the waitress?
Finally, orders in,
food on the way,
more enjoyable talk
only helps so much.
Husband dispatched to car
for extra layers,
what a godsend.
Hmm, my brother on second beer,
where’s our food?
Waitress said something
about covering eight tables,
orders being slow,
didn’t realize she meant
glacial speed.
My chattering teeth
make talk difficult.
Hmm, wonder if I have a mint
or candy in my purse
to stave off hunger pangs?
Much later,
see waitress careen
around corner with our orders.
Were those my French fries
flying off the plate?
Can still use my partially numb fingers
to eat and gain strength
so I don’t lose consciousness,
frozen at Humpy’s.
********

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Karma Refreshment

Computer message reports
"karma is refreshed."
Why, thank you!
Didn't even know
it had wilted.

A.H.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Shopping in Fairbanks

"A beaver walked into an Alaska hardware store"
isn't a joke punchline.
The beast visited a Lowe's in Fairbanks.
New Lowe's advertisement?
"Our lumber is so good beavers want it."
And...
"Ducklings wander into Fairbanks hardware."
Five fluffballs waddled into Alaska Industrial Hardware.
No word on what they intended to purchase.

A.H. 6-3-15