Random Acts of Writing -Just Giggle It

Yes, today's offerings are leftovers -bits of writing that will spoil if I don't use them.

1) Aileen's Axiom: incorrect information travels 10 times faster than correct information.

2) question you probably won't get in a job interview - What is your astrological sign and how will it affect your work?

3) list of people and groups of people a certain male presidential candidate hasn't ridiculed, mocked, scorned or belittled -
                    This space intentionally left blank

4) "Giggle it" - what I recently heard someone I know (and am married to) say instead of "Google it."  I quite like this.

5) The stingrays at SeaWorld look like giant, flattened swimming rats. This does not appeal to me.

Wow, writing is exhausting. I better pace myself and take a nap.

A.H.

DementiaLand

I found this recently and wasn't going to post it but the line "I used to be a person" has haunted me all week. It was written maybe 8 or 9 years ago about an elderly friend.

"I used to be a person"
she said, eyes begging belief,
a spot of food on her face
framed by stringy hair.

"I haven't always been like this"
prefaces a repeated story.
"I'm 77 right?"
She is 80, the same as 5 minutes ago.
"You're old enough" I respond.
She smiles slightly.
What do numbers mean anyway?

"I had a restaurant and children"
tells about them,
shuffling decades
a deck at cards, dropped.

Memory and shadow are the same
as she announces
"I'm going to be a person again."


A.H.

Aging is Weird*

Whose body is this?
Oh-
it's mine.
Didn't recognize it
for a minute,
this shape-shifting
used vehicle.
Who is that grayhead
in the mirror?
Oh-
it's me.
'Twas only
a few years ago-
make that 45-
that I was using Sun-In.**

Ha! Go ahead-
droop, creak, dry up.
It's  a wrinkle fest.
Smooth, supple skin
is so over-rated.

I know this-
I must stay alive
to find the answer
to burning questions such as:
Will I be popular in the nursing home?
(my last shot)

Weird, this aging business.
Was there an instructional DVD
I missed?
What if I
suck at aging?
Aim for grace,
hit grouchy instead?
Can't bear to flunk
the aging well test -
returned with a big, red F.
Weird.

*but probably beats the alternative
*bonus points if you used Sun-In

A.H.